"When we do not agree, perhaps it is because none of us sees far enough. People living on opposite sides of a mountain rarely see the land the same way until they meet at the top."
Navajo saying
Intimate relationships are the greatest source of joy but can also be our deepest source of despair. We all need to feel understood, accepted and empowered by our partners. But sometimes we use anger and defensiveness to communicate our more primary needs and we get disconnected from one another.
Couples easily slip into "demon dialogues" when the individuals are feeling insecure and put up emotional walls. It is common to get into a blame/withdraw pattern that seems to loop around endlessly. This disconnection, if not repaired, can eventually lead to emotional alienation between two people, a very lonely state to be in.
Conflict in and of itself is not bad. More relationships are threatened by the idea that conflict should be eliminated than by conflict itself. Conflict ,managed skillfully, can be an opportunity to know and respond to one another more deeply and grow as a couple.
Counseling will help you learn new ways to cope with your emotions, express your needs and differences, and be more responsive to your partner. Would you like to:
De-escalate conflict
Get past the anger to the more "primary" feelings
Reduce emotional reactivity to one another
Communicate more effectively
Learn to repair disconnection more quickly
Get closer, feel more secure
Learn about emotional bank accounts
Balance needs for closeness and space
Forgive and heal past past hurts and rebuild trust
Collaborate better as a "WE"
Negotiate differences more creatively
I will help you make your relationship stronger, deeper and more satisfying.
